I would have enjoyed lockdown much more if my husband was here. For me the lockdown was a lonely time as Desmond died at the beginning.
I wanted to share my story because my husband was a lovely man. I really fell in love with him when I first met him and I was really happy to marry him. I wanted to share my story as it helps me talking about Des. I always love to talk about Des. Telling my story of was also a way of helping other people. People like me who might have lost someone. I am so happy to hear that people like it. I think that Desmond would have been very proud of me for telling my story about him.
The 30th June was our wedding anniversary, and on that date we would have been married 15 years. Our other anniversaries we always had together but this anniversary I was on my own and I wished Desmond could have been with me on our 15th wedding anniversary. I would have loved celebrating with him and not on my own. My friend Jenny and my carer and friend Penny, who knew Des well, celebrated with me instead. Oh I missed him and I was very sad for him not to be with me.
On our wedding anniversary when I wake up I normally say, ‘Happy wedding anniversary Desmond!’ and give him his wedding anniversary present. And he normally says happy anniversary to me and he would give me my anniversary present. They were usually a surprise and they were always lovely presents from my Des.
It’s hard but I really did try to enjoy the day but I didn’t really enjoy it in the same way. I wish I could have more wedding anniversaries with him but he’s not with me anymore. Anyone who’s in the same position as me, and lose their husband or wife before their wedding anniversary – I would say celebrate like you did before – if you feel lonely celebrate your wedding anniversary with your friends and family and have a drink and a takeaway.
Although it was hard I got up and had a shower and just waited for Penny to com. I said "Cheers to Des!" and "Happy Anniversary Des!" My wedding anniversary will always be on 30th June and I will always remember him, and always think of him, and celebrate it, and have a drink and a take away, and say "Cheers to Des!" and "Happy Wedding Anniversary up in heaven." If other people’s wedding anniversary is coming up always think of your husband and always remember them and always remember and say cheers to him or her and happy wedding anniversary to him or her.
I felt really sad but I know that he would want me to enjoy our wedding anniversary and celebrate. If you feel sad and down always remember he is always in your heart and spirit and looking down at you. Always know that he is in your heart and spirit and he would like you to still celebrate your anniversary with your friends and family.
He was lovely Desmond and he was so lovely to me – he looked after me and he was the love of my life. It will be the same with other people – if they are sad or down always think of their loving husband or wife – the love of their life. Don’t be frightened of thinking of the person even though it’s sad.
Always think they are with you and always know they will be with you – it’s the same for other people too. I think that Desmond will always be with me – and that will be the same for other people as well.