Desmond and I got married in 2005. The reason why I married Desmond was because I fell in love with him and I still love him. I fell in love with him the first time I met him at Sandilands [a care home]. We had known each other for 25 years when we got married and moved into our flat. We would have been married for 15 years this year. We were very happy together. We had a good life together and Desmond had a good life with me.
We went on holiday together, we went out together, we went to the pub together and we celebrated all our birthdays and Christmases together.
He was a good man and a good husband to me. He looked after me when I wasn’t well and I looked after him when he wasn’t well. I loved him very much and I still do. I miss Desmond very much.
We had a good wedding. It was lovely. We have a lot of wedding photographs from that day.
Desmond died in hospital on the 11th April 2020 at 5.40pm after a short illness. He died at the time of the virus although he didn’t have the virus. Towards the end he got very, very ill and I had to look after him.
Every Christmas when we went to the pub he put his Santa suit on. He used to say to me ‘ I think I’ll put my Santa clause suit on today’. He looked very smart in his Santa suit and I was very proud of him when we went out together.
He had a photo taken with my friend’s little girl when she was small and he was picking her up and making her laugh. I have that photograph now. Desmond loved children, and really liked his friends from the garden where he worked and from the theatre where he was in shows. He also really enjoyed making new friends on holiday. He was very happy with me and in himself. We really enjoyed living in our flat together.
Before he died the lockdown started and that meant we couldn’t go out anymore together. He found it hard because before he was ill we couldn’t go out to celebrate his birthday like we always do. Since he died it’s been hard for me because I’ve not been able to see a lot of the people I know and who knew him. Our friends who live in London haven’t been able to come and my friends who live local I still haven’t seen. But we have talked on the phone. It was very hard for me that he passed away because I really did love him and he was my soulmate. I just wish he was still here with me.
It has helped me that we were together a long time – we had known each other for forty years. I just miss him being with me. To help other people I would say that even though your husband has gone try to think of all the good memories and good times you had and the good life you had.
Desmond was the best husband in the world and I will always have that.
Dictated by Theresa